Every so often, I get the feeling that it is time to move on from where I work. It is getting more apparent to me that that time is upon me. I am really starting to hate this place. And this week did nothing to change my view point; it actually made it worst. Without doing anything wrong, everything I did was wrong. I went to an appointment that was approved for weeks as scheduled; there was an accident and I was stuck in traffic and couldn't make it to work on time (note, I was not the only one stuck in traffic, there were 2 other employees stuck in traffic, but I got to work before either of them); one of my bosses didn't properly communicate their expectations of a certain project, so I did the items that she asked, but when one thing wasn't done, which wasn't requested of me, it was my fault. On some level at this stage, I am hoping that they fire me. Firing me allows me to stay home, my mortgage insurance will cover my mortgage for 6 months; it will allow me time to figure out how to sell the house and move from this state; time to find another job so that i can move out of the state; and allow me to de-stress and pull myself together so that i can be a suitable employee to someone else.
September 2011 will mark 5 years in Rhode Island, and that is 5 years too long. I moved here with certain expectations and I was let down within a month of being here. I thought I moved somewhere where i would be around family, but they didn't have time for me and it was nothing like i expected - I was left alone in a foreign state. Thank goodness I had my cats. This state brought me one good thing, my daughter, but besides that, nothing but trouble and a headache and I am ready to leave all of that behind me.
I try to be a good person, I really do, and some days that is extremely hard to do when I feel attacked from all sides. I need to make preparations to move on and try to be happy and find a job that I will enjoy, at least for a while.
